kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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