I'm gonna have a badass scar
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
