We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
