we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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