Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
