You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Text me some of your sweat
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
