I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't deserve a penis
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I love you. Go after that dick
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
