My first STD was from a foam party
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
