escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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