How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
