she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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