my sisters under your porch take her home
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
