People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
