She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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