Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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