I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Randomize
