ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
