I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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