I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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