He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
