$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
