I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
