all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
