Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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