Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
