i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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