The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
