hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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