He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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