One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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