Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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