i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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