I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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