He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
