i wish there were pregnant emoticons
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
