A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
