whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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