During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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