honey bunches of taint.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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