I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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