maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
