doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
