Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
