I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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