I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
