I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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