i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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