I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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