So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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