Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize