Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
