My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize