New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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