if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
