i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
