it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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