I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
