Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
